Med School Daze

I just finished exams which is funsational news, because now i get.... wait for it.... cmoooon.. just......

2 days off for "spring break" plus 2 days off for the weekend = 4 days of spring break!

I know, I know. I jizzed my scrubs when I heard it too.

Anyway, I am currently on two hours of sleep, and not very pleasant sleep. Since yesterday at 2 pm I had been at the medical school until today at 1 oclock when I left. I did take a nap around 5 am for about two hours, but they sucked because I was in a classroom and people kept walking in on me.

And I didn't really fall asleep, but instead, I was in some kind of weird hallucinating-lingo where I knew I was awake, but at the same time, my visual imagery was really intense that I was in fact dreaming. I think my state was more like this...


But anyway, I should be napping cause i'm planning on going out tonight, but instead, I went to the liquor store and bought some drinkies that I've been having; Peach and Pink Champange Andre bottles. I know, it's a little classier than Cristal, but it's a tradition for the last year and a half... plus I started merkin' some bitches on killzone 2.

But... for tonight I already got my drinking cap on (unlike these douchebags). Maybe I'll drop the whole, I'm a "doctor" line and get some tang.

(I'm assuming the model for this shirt is a girl, but where the fuck is her left tit?... or to make it even weirder, where the fuck is his left man-boob.)

But I'll probably fuck that up by getting blacked out in order to forget that I in fact failed one of my exams this block and spent about 95% of this entire week in a school building.

But I'm not worrying, cause it's not my style. Plus, I have it in great certitude that I WILL be a great doctor because a woman at the hair salon? beauty shop? (I know it definitely wouldn't be called a barber shop) told me so. Maybe I should have invited her MILFilicious booty over for some good ol' Andre.

Damn it.

Where Are the Girls with Low Self-Esteem?

So, I found out a few days ago that this famous pornstar, the lovely Asian Carrera used to go to Rutgers back in the day..


Now, I can only imagine what the guys who knew her and graduated with her (if she did graduate, not sure, too lazy to check wikipedia) are thinking. All I could say is that if some hot ass girl I went to school with became a pornstar, I'd be a little pissed off. Why did you not sleep with me? Where were you when I was looking to get laid by some slores? Most of these pornstars start out younger than 21 years, so what the hell? I know you get paid to have sex on the internets, but cmoooonn, I know I'm better looking than most guys you're fucking.

Can you even imagine these girls at 18 just running around high school fucking everyone? That stuff didn't happen at my school. It's like one of those things that only happens in high school movies where one kid has awesome ragers when his parents aren't home.

I definitely would think I was the shit if I fucked a pornstar before she became a pornstar because i would be the envy of every guy wacking it off to her.

Alrriigghhtt, so I got to get back to studying, but I'm definitely keeping my eye open for pornstars now on the Rutgers campus.

Bacon

I just went to the local QuickCheck for some dinner. I got a chicken and bacon wrap with chipotle mayo and spicy roasted garlic mayo and it was delicious.

And, I ordered it just because it had bacon. I even thought about ordering a salad cause it was a chicken bacon salad.

Bacon makes everything so much better. If there was a way to involve bacon and sex without seeming like a fat, disgusting pig, I think I'd go into porn.

This comes in as a close fourth and not second, primarily because she looks like she could be busted, and her tits are small and kind of unbacon-worthy.

Burden of Knowledge

I'm back at school and it's 4 pm. I was here until 7 am this morning after being stuck in this building from 2 pm Wednesday afternoon. As I was walking out, people were coming back to school to study, but I had to go take a nap. Anyway, I'm currently trying to memorize about 100 different bacteria that can really fuck you up, from giving you explosive diarrhea (read: 25-30 Liters per day) to lock jaw to whopping cough to kicking the bucket and sleeping six feet underground. I got scared.

But, last night, I ordered a pie around 2 in the morning and and ate the last slice around 630, while I was reading up on bacteria that cause disease when not properly refrigerated. I actually hesitated and thought about microwaving the slice before eating it. And then I realized I was acting like a pussy because I would eat shit two days old when I was still in college and didn't give a fuck. But, for that one tiny second, I thought, well this could either make me sit on the shitter for the next 24 hours, or do absolutely nothing except quiet down the roar of my stomach. So, I ate it.

The thing is, the more shit I learn, the more aware I become of things that can go horribly wrong, and I get a little nervous of them happening. Like, let's say I bang out some chick, and she gets knocked up, but I can't convince her to abort it, or I had second thoughts when I asked her to meet me at the top of some stairs because we had to talk. She can have the baby, but if her pussy is dirty with Streptococcus agalactiae, she can pass that shit onto MY baby and give him meningitis or septicemia. Cunt!

Or that the magical "5 second rule" could probably be one of the most dangerous things you could do....

Or

If you lift up your child by one hand, you can cause damage to the nerves in his arm, and then he'll look like a mentally retarded kid because his arm will posture will be fucked up, and it's your fault.

Well, I just wasted enough of everyone's time and I have to get back to studying. I could go for a drink... because so far, other than causing liver disease (read: transplant), alcohol is not so bad compared to eating cold canned food which can lead to botulism.